Hoam

by berta

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1.
02:51
2.
02:44
3.
02:05
4.
03:30
5.
03:01
6.
03:38
7.
03:37
8.
02:47
9.
03:02
10.
11.

about

This album is in a chronological order, depicting a narrative of comings and goings, loving and longing. It begins with a road trip from New York to Alaska, leaves Alaska for California, then returns to Alaska. What each song comprises is the relationship with a person or event, as often fictionalized as not; in tandem influenced by books, music, films and other events. Think of them as bifocal sunglasses, sometimes rosy, sometimes black and a few shades in between. What is seen is skewed, often reflected back to the narrator, as one who projects feelings and perceptions onto others surely only reveals oneself. Overall the album confides a very loose nature, bordering on a live set in a living room, guzzling the last of the booze and telling secrets - as they were written they shall be played. A little too loud, brash at times, elusively honest and endearingly sincere.

credits

released December 25, 2012

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about

berta Santa Fe, New Mexico

just me, ben, makin music with myself, per usually.

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Track Name: Long Gone
here comes your lady
with her hands on her knees
she doesn't ask for much
but it's more than you can please
she's the type that might wait
but you gotta promise somethin before you leave

just come home
when you know that you belong
and i'll be here
but don't be gone too long
i can't wait alone

strike out into the unknown
taking every one you know with you
when you go
they tell ya everything's alright
when you think you've been lost
to the world
and then your heart remains silent
and sometimes you get swallowed whole
you might remain undigested
til every one you love gives up hope

and then ya come home
to the only place that you belong
and everything says stay
but you don't know how to get along
and your heart sings you a song

you can never belong
but you can never be gone long
Track Name: Grizzly Bear
eatin grass on the bluff
for a lark
you thrilled me with stories
of swimming with sharks
words didn't help me
find the truth in your heart
you laughed like you knew
how i was falling apart

i always fall so hard
end over end i tumble
from the start

you're a four leaf clover
growing on mountains off the beaten path
maybe i'll never find another
maybe i won't find my way back
sometimes to wish for more
negates what you have
sometimes it's given away
without hope to get it back

i always fall so hard
end over end i tumble
from the start

maybe baby
you knocked me out
and i haven't come to
maybe my luck had just run out
and i wanted to be like you

it's still been nice knowing you
Track Name: Night & Day
i don't wanna go outside today
come sun or high water
i will stay

i don't wanna be seen
i don't wanna speak
for happy i've been
but now i feel weak

i don't wanna call my brother
how can i explain?
there's a woman
i might love
but it drives me away

i don't wanna talk
i don't wanna hear
how can i walk
when my body has been smeared?

you can dance all night
til the morning light
til the cows come home
and then spend the day alone

i don't wanna go outside today
i won't be missed
i can fade away

i won't be seen
i won't be heard
today i'm a dream
tomorrow, i'm a jerk
Track Name: Young Kids
young kids don't wanna stay at home
they need so much space
they can't keep their pants on
or stay in one place
you kids don't wanna be alone
they just wish they were out
on their own

young kids
just wanna play
i wanna be a young kid
today

young kids don't wanna go to work
young kids don't have their feelings hurt
fresh and new like the world hasn't turned
young kids are just flirts
young kids don't wanna be alone
they just wanna see the world
as far as they can roam

young kids
just wanna play
i wanna be a young kid
today

young kids don't wanna be told
young kids just wanna be
let go
young kids don't wanna sit still
they wanna feel the world
crash 'gainst their will

young kids
just wanna play
i wanna be a young kid
today
young kids
don't know about old
today is always better than

tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow...
Track Name: Will O Wisp
i can't be trusted
with a heart
i lose them, i break them
i take them apart
i often forget
just whose i've got
it's too easy to live
without a thought

but you wanna put your faith in a pretty thing
never suspecting until that fatal sting
when i lose control of everything

o i make promises
like poison pills to your ears
when i wake up
i wish you were still near
but i let you down
and moved on
and you wonder how
you coulda been so wrong

but you wanna put your faith in a pretty thing
never suspecting until that fatal sting
when i lose control of everything

and you wish i was around
until you find out
i'm like smoke in a mirror
a window of a cloud
and i wish i was
what you want
now i'm just your broken heart

cuz you wanna put your faith in a pretty thing
never suspecting until that fatal sting
when i lose control of everything
Track Name: Only Son
i heard they drug a body from the river
said it looked like you
you swore you would never, ever
wear any cement shoes

but i'd never believe anything that you thought was true
if they got you before i did
it's only better for you

i heard that you got pinched with some rocks
and they stuck it to you
then your tongue poked out and your tail grew
and you found a home
under the docks
to stow all your truth

but i'd never believe anything that you thought was true
if they got you before i did
it's only better for you

even at the funeral
the fingers show up
stiff and sharp
stabbing distrust
no condolence

now mama don't pray
and i vow to forget your name
and that of the one you blamed
though he was a saint
Track Name: V Day
i guess i've known
you've been gettin around
for you to have to say it
makes it over somehow

i wish you'd stay
i wish i could leave
i wish you wouldn't come back into my heart
and tease, tease, tease me

now you go walkin out
on paws in stealth
you like the thrill, the game
you like to think that it's good for your health

you don't say much
but you talk too loud
i wish you could just say
what you need to somehow

just let go
don't let your heart grow cold

i wish you'd stay
i wish i could leave
i wish you wouldn't come back into my heart
and tease, tease, tease me

just let go
Track Name: Mozzarella
when i wake up
i wanna see your face
when i go out
i want you in my space
i don't know anything
anything at all
fill me up
with everything you got
it could take all day
it could take all night
i've got the rest of my life

o baby say you'll stay in my arms for a while
baby say you'll take my heart for a ride
i'm your favorite shirt
upside down, inside out
in the dryer so warm
say you'll take me out
take me out
baby take me out

and i'll tie a string to your finger
and if you get strung out
i will reel you in

i've been over and over
i've been thru and thru
and given up on love
when i met you
i didn't believe it
but it grew and grew
silly how cliches always come true

is this it
is it you
what should i do?
i just want you by my side

baby say you'll stay
in my arms for a while
in my arms for a while
Track Name: Judgement
you are too young to understand
the responsibility given
you only do because you can
and nothing is forbidden
you haven't begun to comprehend
consequence or sacrifice
time is now at hand
to think before you act twice

you will make this mistake again
just because you can
until you can't

headlong you dive into the edge
of your own existence
searching for meaning
beyond this condition
hoping for something else
to make your bed
so you can sleep in sweet oblivion

you will make this mistake again
just because you can
until you are finished

you are too foolish
to not destroy
what you have
in hopes of something more

when will you ever have enough?
Track Name: Angel in Exile
you took a train from st. louis
never talked about the pain
that brought you to it
you only stared along the track
knowing you would never go back

then one lonely day
you caught the hint of a hopeful gaze
but you couldn't look back

you never unpacked your bags
living outside of town
in a one room shack
you pass the day with the sea in your face
like it hears the words
you can't say

no one knows your name
no one's heard your voice
but i'd like to hear it
just the same

will i see you again
before the next train comes in?
Track Name: Goodbye, Joan
simmering august
we terminate in dust
with nothing to say
nothing we trust
we go our own way
giving in to dusk
september left us
not even lust

we disturb no wake
as we pass in the night
we cannot see
who lies behind the lights

i ran into your brother
balancing discomfort
in your shoes
i could only say
it's good to see you
we sail these boats
til the wind doesn't blow
and where we are
we may never know

we disturb no wake
as we pass in the night
we cannot see
who lies behind the lights

we hold no moor, mon amour