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duel

by berta

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1.
i know nobody gonna take me home what's one more night alone? you said i shouldn't call you on the phone you said i should spend some time alone me and dead trees and piles of snow drifting through glacial waves swimming to my home nestled here no one can find me i don't think they know when i'm gone you said i should dream another dream but i only have this one thing i know nobody gonna take me home what's one more night alone?
2.
goldminer 03:38
you're a golden boy every one wants your toys you're a superman every one follows your plan in the eyes of the beholder you are so much bolder but i know you sold her down the river to me she's a broken toy all played out of joy you can forget her name but she'll never be the same swept under the rug after you promised her love and sold her with a shrug right down the river to me and we lie like stones when we babble like brooks and we try to mend our bones from the scornful crooks we're in debt up to our eyes we know the price of life we swim like the fishes they know only wishes are free you're a golden boy gilded with brand new toys down here on this land we make do with mud and sand castles to the sky wash away with the tide and the tears in her eyes come right down the river to me and her heart sinks like a stone and her dreams are all broken bones an angel loses her wings and a blue bird forgets how to sing then like logs in the water they come down the river to me
3.
skin deep 03:11
i was gonna wait for you i would even say i do but you think our differences would drive us apart and you have no faith in matters of the heart o what happened to your heart if you can't believe there's nothing to impart? go so now we go no, we don't know roses in the snow like blood of unicorns smell is not your interest only the thorns o what happened to your heart if you can't believe there's nothing to impart? go so now you go show me who's boss show me who's not lost show me what you know o you know show me what you o you know for all you know
4.
stuck on you 02:52
you don't have to wait for it i don't even care we don't have to carve our names in the bark of a tree that's not there and i don't have to gauge how i'm gonna react we never even set out to do anything remotely like that so just get out of the way before it comes down the trees in this forest don't make a sound and i don't have to wait for you and you don't have to wait for me whatever you think this is is just how it's going to be take it as it is whatever it might be just know it's got heart and when stabbed it most definitely will bleed so just get out of the way before it comes down the trees in this forest don't make a sound they tumble and fall new trees rise up from the ground they grow real tall til they all fall down you don't have to wait for it i don't even care just take it to the pavement before i pull out every strand of my hair cuz you don't have the taste for it this sappy little tree but you can't admit that it's sticking to you like it's sticking to me so just get out of the way before it comes down the trees in this forest don't make a sound they tumble and fall new trees rise up from the ground they grow real tall til they all fall down
5.
came home late dazed from the day spaced out space is crowded in my brain think i oughta work a little on what i love again i keep askin what's love? what is my name? threw my whole life in a song what comes out is a chimp in a thong every one says can you put some clothes on? i said he's all dressed up it's a chimp in a thong it ain't the words you use it's where they belong any body can say anything as long as they're not wrong maybe i'll write an odious ode to king kong people tell me he's got a thing for chimps in thongs threw my whole life in a song what comes out is a chimp in a thong every one says can you put some clothes on? i said he's all dressed up it's a chimp in a thong why is that wrong? it's not wrong it's my chimp in a thong
6.
cut loose 03:54
i left the caboose when your body went loose and smoked a cigarette in the men's toilette and made my way to the dining car a tall glass of gin sweet vermouth cut thin i feel like a boy again i feel like a boy again as i'm heading back to the bar is it one more stop or two til the pont de garoux o i think i'll have me a howl at the moon if it takes all afternoon and i said it was in my blood when you said that you'd had enough and i could already visualize this trip through the countryside and i made you take me back i'll show you the church, my love you'll see the reliefs above and see how they sacrificed scraping away their lives they gave it all they had is it one more stop or two til the pont de garoux o i think i'll have me a howl at the moon if it takes all afternoon a man soon asks do i have all my bags? i said i travel light these days i thought it might be good for a change and can you validate my ticket, please?
7.
cages 05:37
you love him wild in a cage ruthlessly domesticated you love the child but you hate the savage rages try to sneak inside the cage try to free the child in phases but who will come to escape? eggshells scattered out for miles who will come to play with this child? will he be courageous will he be contagious? try to sneak inside the cage try to free the child in phases but who will come to escape? who will come to escape you are the cage
8.
said it was all alright living out on my own sometimes i think i want to be alone said it was all alright to figure out on my own what to hold and what to let go you're not comin through you're not comin through food supplies water and a sink wood and coal to keep me warm i can see for miles there's no surprises just the wind whispering cold you're not comin through you're not comin through what was that you said to me? said it was all alright howlin at the moon maybe cuz you let me go maybe cuz i left you said it was all alright never seein any one sometimes i think i need to be alone

about

an album of duality. one and zero, plus and minus, conscious and unconscious, single and couple, you and me. is it about my relationship to music? my relationship to women? my relationship to work? my relationship to the world? my answer is yes: it is my relationship to everything. what else can i sing but what i feel, what i know, what i see etc? it is i, then everything else. there are a couple of songs here that have come about as exercises, but have only unveiled some deeper truth i may have been hiding, not wanting to express. a slap in the forehead. there's always honesty, even in denial. the truth is always present, should one seek to know it. and that statement may bely the need, the ache, the ever-present will to communicate, for better or for worse, of every work of art, every speech, every gesture. there is always something underneath, gnawing its' way to the surface. we grapple with our free will, our ability to do any and everything - and yet feel constrained, oppressed. unable to share, unable to receive; our relationships suffer, our lives, our bodies, our hearts, our souls suffer. and yet, we suffer as one, from this universal affliction. one can only wonder … do we suffer from ourselves? truly, is our duel not with nature, not with god(s), not with humanity, but within ourselves? when offered everything, what will you take, what will you do with it, and what does it say about what is true to you?

credits

released September 16, 2013

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berta Santa Fe, New Mexico

just enough knowledge to be dangerous, not enough to have wisdom.

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